What Sleeped Me?

After lunch this afternoon, my school had a small singing competition in the auditorium, and a few of my students took part. I really mean to attend, but as I walked down the hallway I could hear the caterwauling level of talent on exhibit bleeding emanating from TV’s in classrooms as I walked past. At that moment I decided it would take a dozen demanding students or at least one school administrator to drag me up to the auditorium on the sixth floor.

Instead (and quite content with my decision), I sat down at my desk to check out the endless flow of tech news on Feedly, my RSS reader of choice while indulging in the Material Podcast on Pocket Casts. With each blink, I felt my eyelids getting heavier until at last, they failed to open again on their own. Only through an extraordinary exertion of willpower was I able to end the micro-sleep which had dragged my head low to rest my chin upon my left hand.

I don’t know if I should blame the protein-heavy cafeteria lunch I ate, the extreme dearth of enthusiasm I felt about the singing competition, or the extra-wordy podcast for putting me to sleep. What I do know is that I have no regrets about not subjecting myself to the ear-splitting noises being emitted from the 6th-floor auditorium.

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Self-Medicating

As I walk the busy streets of Shanghai, I often see a father walking alongside his young son, holding his hand, and I miss my son. I have to look away or risk tearing up. But then I think about the person who caused my isolation, my exile from Changsha, and I feel a deep anger well up inside me. The wetness in my eyes transforms into a bitter hatred and resentment toward the person I’ve come to despise with all my being. Once focused on my anger and regret in having wasted so much on a person so undeserving, it’s very difficult to push it out of my mind.

To this end, I’ve been listening to some “new” music because it doesn’t remind me of anything. I highly recommend Depeche Mode’s Spirit , Queens of the Stone Age’s Villains, and K. Flay’s Everywhere Is Somewhere. This is how I temporarily self-medicate and set my mind free.