What Sleeped Me?

After lunch this afternoon, my school had a small singing competition in the auditorium, and a few of my students took part. I really mean to attend, but as I walked down the hallway I could hear the caterwauling level of talent on exhibit bleeding emanating from TV’s in classrooms as I walked past. At that moment I decided it would take a dozen demanding students or at least one school administrator to drag me up to the auditorium on the sixth floor.

Instead (and quite content with my decision), I sat down at my desk to check out the endless flow of tech news on Feedly, my RSS reader of choice while indulging in the Material Podcast on Pocket Casts. With each blink, I felt my eyelids getting heavier until at last, they failed to open again on their own. Only through an extraordinary exertion of willpower was I able to end the micro-sleep which had dragged my head low to rest my chin upon my left hand.

I don’t know if I should blame the protein-heavy cafeteria lunch I ate, the extreme dearth of enthusiasm I felt about the singing competition, or the extra-wordy podcast for putting me to sleep. What I do know is that I have no regrets about not subjecting myself to the ear-splitting noises being emitted from the 6th-floor auditorium.

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What Flavor Is the Wrong Question

A couple of weeks ago I bought some purple hand soap in a pump dispenser because I thought my previous soap was getting low, and I didn’t want to live in a world without hand soap. So I bought this purple soap without really looking closely at the label or even giving much thought to what it might smell like. After all, soap is soap, and I’m a guy who’s not particularly particular about such things. As it turned out, my old soap dispenser apparently still had a couple of weeks of soap left in it (insert lame joke about me not washing my hands often enough here).

By the time I finally got around to focusing 100% of my tiny little brain on the daunting task of twisting, jerking, shaking, and pulling the nozzle up and open, I had completely forgotten why I chose the purple colored soap in the first place. I’ve never been a huge Prince fan, and I don’t like the Minnesota Vikings. I don’t even care for grape bubble gum. So imagine my confusion when I finally squirted a big foamy white pile of soap onto my hand; confused not because the soap suds were white but because they smelled super good!

The soap smelled so good that for an ever-so-brief moment, I wondered what flavor this soap could be that it smelled so delicious. Resisting the urge to dip my tongue sudsward, I looked at the bottle instead. I can’t read many Chinese characters but I’d have to be some kind of an idiot not to have noticed the picture of a flower on the label. Using the camera function on my phone’s Google Translate app, I was able to focus in on the words in the lower right corner to solve the mystery of what flavor, no that’s the wrong question, what scent this soap actually is. The answer might surprise you. Google says it’s “Blue flowers bleeding”. Mystery solved.